「幸せのものさし」の種類が少ない日本 ― オーストラリアで知ったこと

「日本は、幸せのものさしの種類が少ない。」

　男ならたくさん稼いで成功すること。
　女ならお金持ちでイケメンでやさしい旦那さんをもらって子どもに恵まれること。
　日本人の幸せは、大きく分けてその二つしかない。

　そして、その二つのものさしで、自分を測っては、　「わたしの人生ってイケてる！」「俺の人生終わった...」　と一喜一憂をしている。

　これはあまり良くない状況かもしれない。

　昔、オーストラリアに長期滞在したとき、
　「日本に帰ったら、また現実がはじまる。帰りたくない」
　と海辺で仲良くなったオッチャンに愚痴ったことがあります。

　そしたら、オッチャンは、ビールを片手に
　「元気だしな。幸せは一つじゃない。もっとたくさん種類がある」
　と完全に酔っ払った状態で教えてくれました。しかし、その言葉には真実味があって、とても胸に響きました。

　そこから先は、英語だったので、あまり覚えていないけど、たぶん次のようなことを言われました。「誰かが決めた幸せのものさしにハマらないからって、落ち込むな。幸せのものさしは、自由に決めて満足すればいい。」

　目からウロコでした。

　たしかにオーストラリアを見回すと、そうでした。
　いろんな幸せな人がいました。自給自足を楽しむのもアリ。男が子育てを楽しむのもアリ。ホームステイで世界中から子供招くのを生きがいにするのもアリ。昼から浜辺でビールを飲むのもアリ。会社を4時に終えて、そのあとサーフィンを楽しむのもアリ。バーベキューを生きがいにするのもアリ。

　日本でも、こういう人はいると思いますが、まわりから認められてなかったり、痛々しかったりします。

　オーストラリア人は、それを心から楽しんでいる感じでした。
　幸せのものさしを、みんながそれぞれ作って、尊重しあっている。

　早く日本もそうなって欲しい。壊れたものさしは捨てて、みんながそれぞれ作ってしまえばいいのに。そうすればもっと、幸せになる人が増えるかもしれない。

http://www.earthinus.com/2011/06/happiness-ruler.html

Parking Tickets That Make You Smile Prank

It's so sweet to sometimes make random people smile:)

There are always lots of love around there in the world.

centre of yourself.

It was not until 29 that I finally found out the true meaning of such kinds of messages.
Things link everywhere. Truth sometimes is different from what it seems.
It's about the core part of yourself.
All the random different visible things actually have its own theory.

Note to myself:
Don't look at the surface. Always try find its true nature.

Giving Is the Best Communication

A commercial from Thailand.
They make really good commercials!

Live Your Life

Check out from 66:00:00.

These guys made my day.
Norwegian guys going crazy, living their lives.
Rafting naked, diving from the bridge, camping in someone's back yard in below-freezing temperature, taking their "chicken pet" everywhere they go.
Cannonball into a freezing river in winter, naked!

They are living their lives.

Pay It Forward II

There must be lots of this kinds out there, but I would never get tired of watching.
Human could be this good.
Hurray for our people!

Why Is "Living in the Now" So Hard?

“Live in the now. Stay present.”

It’s one of the big pieces of advice we get when we want to feel better about our lives. Many of my clients express great frustration with their inability to do just that, though. So, for me, just trying to be present isn’t enough.

We have to go to the heart of the matter—why we aren’t just staying present automatically?

People say that not living in the now is a result of our focus on either the past or the future, instead of the present moment. That’s a good start, but I still ask why we would feel the need to do that.

The core answer is that we feel that there is something wrong with us.

So, we either look back and lament. . .I wasn’t good enough, I didn’t get their approval, I didn’t fit in, I didn’t win, and on, and on. Or, we plan or worry about how we can do things in the future. . .how to be more perfect, how to win others’ approval, how to plan things carefully enough, how to make good things happen, and so on. (And if you’re like me, you’ve done a lot of both!)

You might be someone who is pretty good at refocusing yourself to the present. Or, you might be like my clients who either have never been able to do that (no matter how hard they tried) or whose ability to do that has fallen apart. If you’re in one of the two latter categories, it might be time to address the core of the issue, the feeling that there’s something wrong with you.

Even when you know that this negative feeling is the root of your inability to stay present, it isn’t as simple as just letting go of it. (I wish it were!)

That’s because this feeling that something is wrong with you has been with you from early in your life. From conception until the age of two and a half you absorb this negative feeling, which I call Learned Distress, from your parents, siblings and others around you. Learned Distress gets embedded in your sense of self, which becomes the generating force behind every moment of your life. Learned Distress is also largely how you learned to survive and fit well with your early surroundings. So, your brain doesn’t easily let go of this negative feeling, even when you begin to realize how counterproductive it is to feel this way.

But, when people are able to access their sense of self and permanently peel away layers of Learned Distress, not only does the brain let go of the negative feeling, but it also starts to generate moments from natural well-being. When your situations are generated automatically from well-being, you just feel good now.

The need to refocus is gone and instead of using lots of energy to try and be present, you get to just enjoy wherever you are and who you are at that moment. My clients who have been able to refocus themselves (despite it being difficult) are amazed at how much more energy they have to just enjoy their lives when they don’t have to work so hard. They say it’s like getting to sit back and enjoy the scenery for the first time, instead of just having to focus on driving and staying on the road.

For my clients who have felt unable to stay present, the outcomes are even more dramatic. Just a couple of days ago, a new client described how incredibly different he felt about the day he had just been through. He started the day with a teaching presentation that he gives often. Despite the fact that he has always gotten high praise and excellent feedback on it, he is usually thrown way off balance both before and after it by worry that it won’t be/wasn’t good enough. He is unable to communicate well with his family in the morning or handle anything well after it. But he said that this day just felt more normal. Instead of the day running together in one anxious blur, he presented and felt good about it, then moved on to a list of diverse tasks he rattled off to me, saying that he just ticked each off his list and felt complete and unhurried at the end of the day. He said he just felt more capable, without having put any extra work or planning towards that goal.

Does any of this ring a bell for you? Have you struggled with trying to stay present?

The feeling that something is wrong with us so often gets in our way, but really getting rid of it clears the path for us to enjoy each moment as it comes.

(Sited from Elephant Spirituality)

Some Things Are More Important

(Japanese Translation followed by English)

SON: "Daddy, may I ask you a question?"
DAD: "Yeah sure, what is it?"
SON: "Daddy, how much do you make an hour?"
DAD: "That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?"
SON: "I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?"
DAD: "If you must know, I make $100 an hour."
SON: "Oh! (With his head down).
SON: "Daddy, may I please borrow $50?"
The father was furious.
DAD: "If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I work hard everyday for such this childish behavior."

The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.
The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy's questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?
After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down, and started to think:
Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $ 50 and he really didn't ask for money very often. The man went to the door of the little boy's room and opened the door.

DAD: "Are you asleep, son?"

SON: "No daddy, I'm awake".
DAD: "I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier. It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here's the $50 you asked for."

The little boy sat straight up, smiling.
SON: "Oh, thank you daddy!"
Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills. The man saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry again. The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his father.

DAD: "Why do you want more money if you already have some?"

SON: "Because I didn't have enough, but now I do.

"Daddy, I have $100 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you."
The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little son, and he begged for his forgiveness. It's just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life. We should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some time with those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts. Do remember to share that $100 worth of your time with someone you love? If we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of days. But the family and friends we leave behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives. And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more into work than to our family.

Some things are more important.



息子：パパ、ひとつ訊いていい？
パパ：なんだい？
息子：パパの時給はいくら？
パパ：ほっといてくれ！どうしてだい？
息子：なんてもいいから教えてよ。パパの時給はいくら？
パパ：そんなに言うなら…う〜ん、時給１００ドルくらいかな。
息子：えっ！（うつむきながら）パパ５０ドル貸してくれない？
パパ：くだらないオモチャを買うために？いますぐベッドに入って反省してなさい！
　　　パパはそんなことの為に働いているんじゃないんだ。

男の子は静かに自分の部屋に戻りドアを閉めました。
ぶしつけな質問にカッとなったパパも、しばらくして少し冷静さを取り戻しました。
お金を借りたいなんて、あの子らしくない態度だったな。
彼は息子の部屋の前に行きドアを開けました。

パパ：起きてるかい？
息子：…うん。
パパ：さっきはきつくあたってすまない。ほら、ここに５０ドルあるよ。

男の子は笑顔で立ち上がりました。

息子：ありがとうパパ！

そしておもむろに枕の下からお札の束を取り出し数え始めました。
男の子はもういくらかお金を持っていたのです。
パパはまたしてもカンカンです。

パパ：どうしてお金を持ってるのに貸してだなんて言ったんだ！？
息子：だって足りなかったから…。でももう大丈夫！
　　　パパ、ここに１００ドルあるよ。パパの１時間分。
　　　だから明日は１時間早く帰ってきて、夕ごはん一緒に食べようよ！

パパは打ちひしがれました。
男の子を力いっぱい抱きしめ、許しを請いました。

ただがむしゃらに働き続けているあなたへ。
時間は私たちの指の隙間からこぼれ落ちていきます。
愛する人との時間は１００ドルで買えますか？
もし明日死んでしまうとしたら、会社には我々の代わりになる人がいます。
でも家族や友人は、残りの人生を喪失感と共に生きることになるでしょう。
そのことを思えば、もっと家族との時間を大事にできるかもしれませんね。

人生にはもっと大事なことがある。

What Would You Like to Do If Money Were No Object?

The following is the script:

"So I always ask the question: What would you like to do if money were no object? How would you really enjoy spending your life? Well it's so amazing as the result of our kind of educational system, crowds of students say 'Well, we'd like to be painters, we'd like to be poets, we'd like to be writers' But as everybody knows you can't earn any money that way! Another person says 'Well I'd like to live an out-of-door's life and ride horses.' I said 'You wanna teach in a riding school?'

Let's go through with it. What do you want to do? When we finally got down to something which the individual says he really wants to do I will say to him 'You do that! And forget the money!' Because if you say that getting the money is the most important thing you will spend your life completely wasting your time! You'll be doing things you don't like doing in order to go on living - that is to go on doing things you don't like doing! Which is stupid! Better to have a short life that is full of which you like doing then a long life spent in a miserable way. And after all, if you do really like what you are doing - it doesn't really matter what it is - you can eventually become a master of it. It's the only way of becoming the master of something, to be really with it. And then you will be able to get a good fee for whatever it is. So don't worry too much, somebody is interested in everything. Anything you can be interested in, you'll find others who are.

But it's absolutely stupid to spend your time doing things you don't like in order to go on spending things you don't like, doing things you don't like and to teach our children to follow the same track. See, what we are doing is we are bringing up children and educating to live the same sort of lifes we are living. In order they may justify themselves and find satisfaction in life by bringing up their children to bring up their children to do the same thing. So it's all retch and no vomit - it never gets there! And so therefore it's so important to consider this question:

What do I desire?"

- Alan Watts

Pay It Forward

Things I used to be shy about.
I'm grown-up enough to be able to speak out loud.